Psalm 139:13 NLT
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.
I want to start from the very first memories I have. This is a true story. I tell you the truth I have memories that have been with me all my life since I was small but only certain ones at key times. I realized at some point in my life early not to share them because others did not have the same experiences and thought I was making it up. God allowed this for a reason for me to remember certain things ever since I was in the womb! I am now almost 40 and they have not changed and are just as clear today as it was then! I decided to get over the fear of people who may not believe and simply share my first encounters of life to shine Gods glory of his creation in humans. I hope if you are here today and wonder do babies have feelings in the womb, do they think, can they hear and so many more questions like are they even real people while in the womb (for those considering abortion I hope you see my true life story)? I am here to share with you today my story from a babies perspective.
I remember (I do not remember what stage I guess from the start ) but I remember being very small in a dark place and at first I couldn't move. That is my first memory. I didn't know where I was or who I was. I felt things happening to me. And I didn't know what it was. I didn't have many thoughts but I had thoughts. I could reason some. I could think some. I did not know much but could think in my language of what I know now in life as the English language. I remember feeling confusion and fear and in that moment of first feeling it... a tiny and very clear radiant light came to me that got bigger and sometimes would engulf me. In that light was the outline of a person, a figure of sorts... I knew not whom but they said to me do not fear. I am here to take care of you and will stay with you for a time. That light was shining to me from the right upperside of me the whole time I was in the womb. They (the angel) would sometimes spend time with me. The bright lighted being would come & go. The angel always brought with them love & comfort to me when ever I needed it and was lonely or afraid. They would check on my progress as I grew too. They would teach me things but I do not remember all of what they taught me. It was always the same angel. I now call this in my adult life the nursery angel! I know now looking back it was an angel assigned to watching over me in the womb and in the womb only. (Another angel was to come to take care of me in this life later on) As time went on, the inside where I lived got a soft bright glow during a good part of the day ( at the time I did not know the difference between night & day)... I could see light shining from out side the womb in a muffled sort of way. As time went on I was discovering I could move new parts of me! I would be in amazement of my constant change. I felt fear sometimes. When ever I felt fear I would cry in my heart to the angel attending to me... it would come. I can't even remember if this angel was a woman or man... I remember they had long hair. They had the most sweet compassionate spirit I have not yet on earth met anyone who comes close. They would nurture me & spend time with me. There was times I felt pain and the angel would come and take it away. Sometimes it would not take my pain away and I did not understand why and they just stayed with me during my pain. The sweet angel would say," you must feel this pain today and someday it will be clear why". Now as an adult I think part of the lesson was to tell me God will sometimes take away our pain (and He has sometimes in my life but in other times He did not) yet He is always there to comfort us and we are never alone through it. Sometimes I was confused and I remember calling upon the being ( the angel) to help me and they would answer me we could talk without my mouth or their mouth moving and I thought that was the way it should be or that it was. I began at some point to hear my mothers voice and I knew it well. I knew the difference between hers & others that where not her. I indeed knew when she was in trouble and sad whom ever this woman was whom I was inside. I did know that others exists on the "outside" but I didn't know what they look like. I grew bigger I didn't realize that what I was doing!! As I grew my thoughts grew a little deeper in understanding. I was able to move more and things started to get really tight and cramped. At times it was so very uncomfortable ( I realize now towards the end of my time in the womb). Yet in the womb was all I had known and didn't want to leave it's comfort of safety. A bit before I was actually born something scary happen. The angel came to me. The angel began at some point prepping me for birth by telling me I would be born and how it would happen. They coached me on how to go forth into the world. I can't remember the lessons but I remember them telling me how it would feel and at what point I needed to move and flip.They said I would just know and when they said go just move my body they would help me. I was afraid and they said do not worry I would not be alone. Then the angel informed me after I said I would not go and I can't, that I had to. I remember fighting it. I remember the sweet angel saying I must go because 2 others had to come through my mom after me they said if I didn't go they couldn't come.( In my life 2 more brothers was born after me later so this did come to pass!) I cried ,, I was sad at the thought of me preventing them from coming. It was strange because I felt I already knew them somehow,, yet I didn't know what they looked like for I had never seen them. I had even known there was a baby in the womb before me! ( I also had a big brother older than I in real life this too came to pass ) I thought about it and said ok I will go.. but at the moment birth was happening I felt pain starting on my head that hurt so badly that traveled for a brief moment in time all over me! I can not put into words fully what birth felt like. Babies do feel pain as they are being born to a point! As I started fighting it again and refused to go towards the light ( my moms opening I know this now) after I had moved when they said move...I asked the angel so many questions fast,, like what is it like out there.. will I be alone etc. When I kept fighting & talking my angel said I must leave you now someone else is coming in my place... then another angel came. This angel was comforting but very stern in a loving way with me as I fought. They answered my questions & fears I had of the "outside" very quickly it seemed. Yet they also kept being stern the whole time coaching me to go toward the light and they promised me I would not be alone, ever. At first their sternness was so different from what I had known with the other angel ( my nursery angel I call it now) I begged for the other angel back! That angel was all I had known to that point! Yet they said no they had been sent. I had no idea whom this being ( God)was they spoke of that send them a being much bigger than them (I know now it was God). He (my new angel)was more clear in appearance to me than the other angel. He even had sort hair. He seemed middle aged like compared to what I know now of late 30's. He promised me a special request I had. I said if I go out there can I see you out there too? He said "you will at first I will be standing beside you" and he promised me. "I will help you". So I went forth towards the light ( that opening). I had already at this point moved my body in the way he said.Up to that time it was the most physical pain I had ever felt. The moment I hit the air... it literally hurt my whole body and my head hurt so badly.. the bright lights hurt and annoyed me to! My vision was very blurry but there! I felt hands on me holding me ( the doctors) and heard voices that seemed so much louder & clearer then in my safe womb! Just moments after I was born I yelled ( with out words the angels hear your thoughts!) I yelled in my heart and called for the angel you said you would be here where are you ,, with my hearts thoughts. I looked to the right after I heard his stern yet gentle voice and I saw him as they cut me from my mothers cord. I also saw the other angel who helped me in the womb standing behind him. He ( my new assigned angel) said I will be with you your whole life. I am here for you. If you ever need me I am here.... soon you will not see me anymore but know I am here always. I cryed. I saw him in full form and then he disappeared slowly! I cried for him again and I could no longer see him yet I clearly heard his voice again.. he was still there and I heard a sweet laughter coming from him and my nursery angel! (I look back now and know their laughter was because I was so suborn and their job at the moment was done it was a chuckle of satisfaction)
Now to tell you what as happening on the outside while I was fighting on the inside of my mom..
what seemed like forever when I was fighting being born and arguing with the angels my mom was on the verge of death giving birth to me . When I got older my mom told me my birth story and how she almost died according to the doctors in child birth. I never told her my side of what I remembered because I was afraid she wouldn't believe me. She said she had toxemia and a few other issues that almost killed her. She said she was sitting on my head at first when I was being born because she kept trying to hard to push me out! A few more minutes the doctors said she would of been dead. Now I see looking back it was me causing it due to my stubbornness (that stubborn side has been with me my whole life!) Part 2 of my story is coming soon! Please I beg you as a person who remembers all this clearly, If you stumbled upon this blog today wondering about life in the womb it is real! Babies have thoughts & feelings at all stages. Please listen,,, to abort is truly murder. This is my true story from the perspective of a baby in the womb as I remember it!